


And I'll Never Love Again.

by Agentrogers17



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Coma, F/M, Hurt Steve Rogers, Love Triangles, Platonic Relationships, Steve Feels, Steve Is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-23 15:22:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8332702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agentrogers17/pseuds/Agentrogers17
Summary: Reader is in coma. And Steve is in love. Everything is more complicated than it looks like and there is nothing more than broken hearts all over the room.





	1. All the Ends with Beginnings.

“I think… After all this time, all these weeks and all these meaningless arguments I think of you and you are right. You were right from the very start (Y/n)... But I guess it doesn’t even matter anymore.”

***

“How was it?”

“How was visiting (Y/n)? While she was layong there, sleeping… She is asleep for 2 months now Natasha. She is asleep because she was right and I didn’t listen to her. She will probably die because I did not listen to her!”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Yeah? And whose fault was then? And I am begging you don’t tell me no ones. I don’t believe that (Y/n) is there dying because of nothing.”

“It was a risk she took. This job is a risk we all take. Something like that could have happened to any of us and this time it was her.”

“This is your excuse?”

“It is not an excuse Steve. It is the truth and you know it. Yes the truth is ugly. Yes it hurts. Yes (Y/n) being there is not something easy to take but… It is what it is and there is nothing we can do.”

“You have no idea how much it hurts do you?”

“I know the pain of losing a friend but you are right I have no idea how bad it hurts… Losing the girl you love before you could even tell her how much you do.”

“You think you know everything don’t you?”

“You think you can hide your feeling don’t you?”

Steve took a deep breath and looked at the red head. His sky blue eyes were fixed on the spy in front of her. He knew she was right and he knew that the chance he lost was not coming back but… Deep in his heart there was a tiny hope begging god, begging every holy thing to bring (Y/n) back. He already lost too many things and he deserved to have (Y/n) by his side. He deserved to be happy just this once. 

“What are you trying to do Natasha? What is your point? You want me to suffer? I suffer every day and every night. I want her back here but I know it won’t happen. I know I will watch her fading away day by day. And I know this is my fault. I don’t need you and your fake pity.”

“You are not the only one who misses her you know? I just want you to stop acting like she is yours and she was nothing to us.”

“But I am the only one who lost the girl who meant eveything to him.”

“Then why did you do nothing?”

“I couldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“You don’t know everything Natasha.”

“Why couldn’t you do it?”

“She was dating Bucky.” Steve said. Every word leaving a burning sensation on his lips. Natasha was shocked. Her leaf green eyes wide open.

“She was dating Barnes?”

“He liked her from the very start and… She had a soft spot for him. He liked cuddle her when he had nightmares. He liked doing everything with her.”

“Since when?”

“Since the day they met. You know… That was the day when I understood I lost my chance forever. The moment he saw her… The way he smiled… It was the first time he smiled and I knew I lost my chance to be with the girl I was in love.”

“Oh my god…”

“I could not tell her Natasha. If I did I would lose both her and Bucky. And Bucky would lose his chance to have a life. So I gave up on myself. On my life for them to be happy.”

“She was in love with you, you moron.”

“Nat…”

“Before Bucky, before everyhing she was in live with you!”


	2. As The Sun Rises.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How everything really started.

“I am okay Stevie. You know me I am strong.”

“Strong doesn’t mean immortal doll. One day this stubborn head of yours will cause you a big trouble.”

“But you will be there to save me.”

“I will always there to save you.” He said as his warm lips touched my forehead. I rested my head on his sculpted shoulder. I closed my eyes as Steve’s calm breath touched the top of my head. He was warm and he was one of the few people I trusted with my life. 

“Don’t sleep (Y/n). You hit your head. I don’t want to take any risks.”

“I will be okay.”

“I know. I will never let anything happen to you.”

“My hero.” I said pecking his chin softly. I could see the blush over his cheeks. Steve was not a guy who was used to physical affection and I loved hugging, kissing amd touching people. He was my best friend so he was getting the most of it but still he would act like a little boy.

“Do you feel dizzy?”

“Nope.”

“Are you sure?”

“I am.”

“Are you lying?”

“I am not 5 Steve. Why would I lie?”

“Because you hate hospitals?”

“I don’t hate hospitals. I dislike them.”

“Lets make a deal.”

“Please don’t put me in hospital Stevie. Pretty pretty please… You know how I feel in there.”

“The deal is… You will let the doctors check your head for trauma and etc. and I will patch up your other wounds in your room. Deal?” 

“Deal.”

***

“It burns…” I hissed as Steve cleaned the deep cut on my thigh.

“Because there are germs in there. One of the reasons why we should have stayed at hospital.”

“But I hate hospital. And you like playing the doctor.”

“I am not playing the doctor and I don’t like it. The only truth in your sentence was that you hate hospitals.”

“I am okay. Some food and sleep… I will be okay.”

“You always are.”

“Indeed I am.”

“What do you want for dinner?”

“Veggie Noodle.”

“And some salmon?”

“Maybe.”

“I will order. You, don’t move.”

“Yes Captain.”

“And don’t mock me!”

“How dare you!”

***

“How is your leg?” Natasha asked me as she threw a bottle of fresh orange juice at me.

“I am okay. Where is Steve?”

“He needed to go.”

“Where?”

“Something personal.”

“Personal? Nat I am his best friend, I am his personal. And personal that is other than me died about 70 years ago.”

“One thing didn’t.”

“What does it mean?”

“It means you are staying here and waiting for Rogers patiently.”

“No! Tell me what happened.”

“(Y/n)...”

“Oh.”

“(Y/n). Don’t you even think about standing up. You stay here and wait for him.”

“He found Bucky didn’t he! He found Bucky and no one told me!”

“He will bring Barnes home. He will be allright.”

***

2 weeks. It took 2 feeks for Steve to return.

“Miss (Y/f/n) Captain Rogers is back.”

“Where FRIDAY?”

“Down stairs.”

I ran there with my newly healed leg and threw myself on Steve. Gladly he caught me in the air.

“You are an idiot.” I said as I punched his chest.

“If I had told you, you’d be coming after me.”

“Doesn’t make me hate you less.”

“I am okay.” He said and kissed my head softly. Then he softly put his hand on my waist and I saw the brunette behind him. 

“(Y/n) this is Bucky. Buck this is (Y/n).” Steve said as Bucky’s cold blue eyes burned mine. And I could feel the fatal attraction I had towards him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading please leave kudos and comments.
> 
> Xoxo


	3. Baby Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting to know each other...

“So…” She said looking at me with her big (y/e/c) eyes. I looked at her. It has been 2 weeks since last I saw her. Her leg was better, the purple marks on her forehead were almost gone. She was as beautiful as ever. I knew Bucky was interested in her. I saw the way he looked at her and I knew that interest he had for her was not one sided. 

“I missed you.” I said honestly. Because yes I did miss her and yes there wasn’t a day I did not think about her.

“I missed you too Stevie.” she said putting her arms around my neck and rested her head on my chest. I pulled her closer to my body and pecked her soft (y/h/c) hair. “But it doesn’t change the truth you scared the shit out of me. How dare you! How dare you to just leave and not even call!”

“I am sorry doll. I really am. And I never meant to scare you or anything but… I know you and if I would call or inform you anyhow you’d trace me and come after me. I could not take that risk.”

“Fuck you.”

“I am sorry doll. Come on… Would you risk you if you were me?”

“Yes.”

“Okay I am changing the question. Would you risk me if it was you who had to go somewhere dangerous.”

“No…” she said in a whisper.

“That’s exactly why I didn’t risk you.”

“Is he Bucky?”

“Yes.”

“Does he remember?”

“Barely. He has some memories but they are just small moments. He is confused and scared. Scared mostly of himself but…”

“Where did you find him?”

“Romania. He said he was hiding there for nearly 2 years.”

“Will he stay here?”

“Yes. I talked with Tony and he prepares all the protocols just in case.”

“So Stark knew you were coming!”

“Oh shush now.”

“You look like hell by the way.”

“Well thank you kind madam.”

“You need to sleep.”

“Want to be my teddy bear?”

“Yepp.”

***

“Steve talks a lot about you.” someone said behind me as I entered the dark kitchen.

“Bucky?”

“Yes. That is apperantly my name.”

“Why are you awake? Steve is asleep likd he didn’t sleep for 3 years.”

“He really was tired. We had a long way.”

“So you must be tired too.”

“I am.”

“But you are not asleep?”

“No.”

“But why?”

“Nightmares.”

“Oh…”

I looked at him. His metal arm was visible in dark and his piercing ice blue eyes were shinning.

“Want to talk about them?”

“I prefer not to.”

“Want to talk about anything?”

“Who are you? To Steve?”

“We have known each other for a long time.”

“Are you sleeping with him?”

“Sexually? No. But we do cuddle a lot.”

“He is your lover?”

“No. He is my best friend.”

***

I woke up at 8 am and (y/n) was not next to me. After a long hot shower I went to have a breakfast. Tony, Natasha and Bucky were there.

“Good morning.” I said all of them nodded. I went to make some toast and coffee. As I was finished toasts I heard light and sleepy footsteps.

“I hope you are making me coffee Rogers.”

“One coffee coming right now Madam.” I said smiling.

“Love you too.” she said and sat down burying her head in her arms.

“Good morning to you too (Y/n).” said Natasha.

“I have no fucking idea why they call morning good. I hate waking up.”

“Take away your coffee what are you girly girl?” Tony said laughing.

“Your nightmare.” (Y/n) murmured and closed her eyes. All this time Bucky was watching her carefully. He was watching her face, her movements and hea attitude. And deep down in his eyes I could see the admiration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. I know. It has been years since my last fic but I just started college and everything is crazy. I am sorry guys.  
> But still...  
> Please leave kudos comments and ideas love you all.


	4. Love is Hard, But it is Love

It started with (Y/n) and Bucky training together. Then they started to take long walks together. Alone, for hours… Bucjy started to visit (Y/n) in the middle of the night when he had nightmares. And (Y/n) started to creat herself a new life around Bucky. All she did now was somehow related to Bucky. All she said was something about him. And even though those two were the closest people to me it was killing me. She was going further and further away from me. She was disappearing from my life and all I could was watching her leave. It was like watching a movie. The movie is great, you are in love with the person in it, you love the actor in real life too, all you want is to have that life, to be next to them, to have that but… It is just a movie and the star is miles away from you. That was the desperation and pain I felt watching (Y/n) go away, watching her fade from my life. It was harder than anything I have ever done. Her being so close to me and so far away at the same time. I had no idea when was the last time I have spoke to her. It wasn’t that she was not talking to me or she was ignoring me. It was just… She was taking care of Bucky. All she did was about Bucky and sometimes it left no time even for herself.

“Hi Stevie.” she said walking with hurry after she pecked my cheek.

“Hi doll.” I said softly. Trying to mask the longing in my voice.

“I haven’t seen you much. What are you doing tonight?” she asked. Fixing something to eat at the kitchen.

“Nothing. Absolutely.”

“Come on Cap. Don’t be quiet like that. Tell me something. Something that will make me happy. Make me laugh. You have no idea how much I need it.” she said. And then I saw the way her hands shaked. 

“Is something wrong (Y/n)? Are you okay?” I asked stnding up, I took a stwp towards her and put my hand on her shoulder. She leaned into my touch.

“It is just…  It his hard you know.” She sobbed. I put my arms around her little frame and kissed her hair.

“Come here darling. Tell me.” I said pulling her after me. She sat on my lap her slim arms around me. She pressed her face on my neck and cried there for a while.

“Bucky…” she hiccuped. “Bucky is getting worse.” she said. I knew Bucky had more nightmares and it was making him… Angry and agresive. But I never had thought about its affects on (Y/n). And here she was crying becausd of the stress of the man she loved so much.

“He didn’t have any episodes for the last month darling. I know he has more nightmares but… He has to get rid of it. I mean his brain has to deal with all those memories there and it creates nightmares. I know it is hard. And it makes you worried but this too shall pass. I know Bucky. I know how far he had come and I know he can do it. It will just take some time.” 

“I know but… It just… Stevie… It hurts him… It hurts him so bad… And… And I hate… I hate to watch him getting hurt. And he is… He is so damn stubborn! You know… He needs to start tgat idiotic therapy… And… And all he does is… Refusing!”

“I know doll. I know. He just needs some time. We just have to wait. Everything. Everything will be okay darling. I promise you. Okay?” I said trying my best to calm her down. I just really wanted her to be happy. And right now she was here in my arms which made me happier than ever. She was so close that I could smell her coconut body gel and fruity shampoo. I could feel her body warmth and I could feel her breath caresing my neck. It was, what I always imagined as happiness. The girl I love in my arms, us against the world. But the problem was that (Y/n) wasn’t mine. She never was. But after the moment her pretty (e/c) eyes met Bucky’s. She was a goner. That was the moment I lost my chance for happines forever.

“Thank you Stevie.” She said now a little bit calmer. She hugged me thightly and kissed my cheek sweetly.

“Anything for you doll.” I whispered.

***

“Bucky, babe.” I called him as I entered his flat. He was nowhere to be seen and I could not say that it didn’t give me chills. Where was he? 

“Buck!” I called him one more time and started to search all rooms one by one to find my metal armed super soldier.

“Buck!” I shouted one more time as i felt two hands on my hips. As I turned I met Bucky’s handsome face and flirty eyes.

“Hello there baby girl. Where is the fire?” He asked a smirk firmly placed on his pink lips.

“What?” I asked stoned by the calmnes of his voice.

“Why are you shouting?” he asked again. Thumbs drawing little circles on my hip bones.

“I was looking for you. Where were you?” I asked starting to get irritated of him calm state.

“I was with Sam.”

“You were with Sam?”

“Yeah…”

“Why?” I asked not able to hide the hope in my voice he just chuckled quietly and kissed me softly.

“I thought about all you said back then sweetheart. And I noticed that, you were right. I need those therapies. I need them for myself. And I was a fucking idiot for acting like I didn’t. I am sorry.” He said. I just smiled and gave him one of the biggest hugs in my life. Or to be honest I threw myself onto him.

He laughed and his big strong arms caught me in the air. He kissed me lustfully.

“I love you sweetheart. I love you so bad.”

“I love you too Barnes.”

“You are so pretty you know.” he said his flesh hand caresing my hand.

“You don’t look so bad yourself Soldier.” I said burying my hand in his soft hair.

“I want to ask you something.” 

“Yeah?”

“Wanna go to a dinner with me?” He asked. And I was suprised. I was very suprised. He never liked to get out of the tower.

“Of course I want to go to a dinner with you.”

“So I’ll pick you up at 7?”

“Whenever you want Soldier.” I said kissing him hard one more time.


	5. Point of no Return.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No fairy tale is perfect, not all stories end happy.

“It is meaningless you know… The way you act about it. We talked this before Bucky. I am amd will be an Avenger. Missions are my job. And I am soryy you can not tell me how to do my job. I will go to that mission. Like it or not.” I said. My eyes were focused on the cup I held. Bucky was sitting by the window wathing the busy streets of New York. I knew he was angry and he was worried but it gave him no right to act this way. He knew my job from the start so there was no meaning to argue about it now.

“You can die.”

“I know. That is the risk I took when I started this job. And don’t act like you are different than I am. You have the same job, same risks. You could have died on your last mission too. You can die in your next one. I know that you know that. And if I am living with this knowledge that you might get hurt. If I have accepted you with this risk, why can not accept me? Why do you act like this every fucking time? Can’t you see how it tires me?”

“You don’t understand.” he said. A silent fury in his deep voice. Hands thight in a fist.

“I don’t understand? Come on Barnes! How dare you!”

“Can you understand the way it will destroy me if I will lose you! Can you understand how much it will hurt!”

“Yes! Yes I can! Because all these things will happen to me too Bucky! I will go through the same fucking shit if I will lose you. But it doesn’t give me right to make you stop. To dare to ask you stop what ypu are doing. I can not do that Buck. I have no right. Neither do you.”

“So I don’t have right to want my girl to be safe.”

“You don’t have right to make me quit my job to make me safe.”

“Don’t go to that mission tomorrow (Y/n). I am begging you don’t.”

“No Bucky.”

“Stay here with me. Please. Please (Y/n). I can not lose you.” he begged. Eyes full of misery. It wasn’t the first time he did this. He made me stay at home few times before. But… This was going out of control. He wanted to control my every move. He wanted me to listen to his every word. I knew he just wanted me to be safe and okay but he was getting obsessed. And… I could not breath in his rules for my life. He was trying to limit everything. It started with him asking me to not go out with girls. Then he tried to forbid any male to touch or sometimes even talk to me. He rarely let me go outside of the tower and I was dying. Steve tried to talk about this a few times with me but… Bucky didn’t let that happen. I knew Steve was not approving what Bucky was doing but Bucky didn’t really care. It was tiring, it was stressing… And worst of all I had no idea what to do.

“Stop this just… Just stop. Bucky you are killing me! Can’t you see? Can’t see how wrong it is what you are doing to me!”

“I am protecting you damn it!”

“No! No, you are prisoning me! Just…” I took a deep breath to calm myself down. “I will go to that mission tomorrow and we will talk when I will return okay? I just need to get away for a while. I need to get away and calm down. And then we will talk okay?”

“(Y/n), baby girl…”

“No! No. We will talk later.”

***

“Are they any news?” I asked. My hands were shaking from anxiety and head was hurting from worry. (Y/n) and her team had finished the mission but the comunication was cut after their final report. It has been 14 hours and we could not reach them. There was no signal, no coordinates no GPS. I took a deep breath. They had to be somewhere, they couldn’t just vanish. They had to be somewhere.

“Captain.” Hawkeye called me. I looked at the blonde he was as worried as I was but he was taking it easier since he only had his teammate, (Y/n), there. But I had her there as the meaning of my life. A girl who I could die for but she never would be mine. A girl who I loved since the first moment but she was my best friend’s best girl. 

“Yes?”

“Go get some rest. I will keep searching.”

“No. I will stay. I have to find them. I have to find (Y/n).”

“Have you talked with Barnes?”

“He is with Banner. I don’t think I can face him right now.”

“It is not your fault.”

“He is broken Clint. I am more broken so… I don’t think we can help each other right now.”

“We will find her. She is one of us.”

“I know.”

***

“Are there any news?” I asked. I knew Dr. Banner was hiding his worry and fear but deep down in his eyes I could see it. It was impossible for a team to vanish expecially with all these trackers and tech. But… They were gone.

“Captain and Barton are still looking. They will find them. It is probably a weather problem. It is common for a storm to cut down all the signals there.”

“Do you believe at what you just said?”

“I hope.” he answered simply. 

“We had a fight.”

“With (Y/n)...” It wasn’t a quetion. He was wise enough to understand.

“Yeah… Just before she left. The night before… And she was right. I was overreacting it is just.... I wish I did not say all those things and had acted differently. I wish she was here now to tell me ‘You were an ass.’”

“Well, you need to apoligise to her as soon as she is back.”

“If she will be back…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and sorry for writing this seldom.  
> But...  
> Please be kind and leave kudos, comments and requests.  
> Love you people!


	6. Nightmare.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that it is a very short chapter. But I just wanted to give you something. Again I am sorry for the waiting and the shortness.

“There is no news?” Natasha asked. Her usually neutral face thight with worry. Her green eyes harsh with horror. We both were in this long enough to know what 5 day of silence meant. I took a deep breath. I knew that (Y/n) was probably dead by now. I hoped she was dead. It was better than being experimented by HYDRA. But still the thought of her being dead… It was a theory but… It was killing me. 

“No.”

“Steve we have to tell Bucky. He needs to know that her girlfriend is not returning.”

“I can’t.”

“Do you want me to tell him?”

“I want to finish this search Natasha. I need to be sure that she is dead or alive.”

“I know it is hard Cap. It is hard for all of us but… We need to accept what is coming. What has happened.”

“Call Stark. Tell him to search the area.”

“SHIELD searched the area. Military searched the area.”

“I want Stark to search the area too Natalia. How hard is that? Tell him to search the area one more time. I have to be sure before giving up on a teammate, a close friend.”

“I will tell him.” she said leaving me alone in the control room.

***

“What are you not telling me Steve?” Bucky asked me. I knew deep down he knew what was happening. I just looked at him. Not knowing what to think or what to say. 

“You look awful. When was the last time you slept, took a shower or ate? Look at yourself. Come on go get a shower I will prepare something to eat.” He said. I listened to him just to escape the conversation. I took a shower and shaved. After eating some I went to my bed. And closed my eyes. 

It was a bad sleep. Full of nightmares and death scenarios of (Y/n). My own brain was killing me. I woke up as Wanda was shaking me. 

“Steve. Steve you have to wake up. Steve. Tony found something.”

“What? What has he found?”

“The plane. Their quinnjet. It has crashed. He has found the parts of it and some bodies. Team was 9 people but Tony only found 5 bodies. (Y/n)s is not there. He still is searching.”

“Does Bucky know?” I said rubbing my face. I could not decide if it was a good or bad news. She didn’t die in plane crash but was she dead now? If she was not, where was she? What have they done to her?

“He heard.” Wanda said with sadness in her voice.

“How did he react?” 

“He had an episode but he is okay now.”

“I need to talk with him.”

“You need to accept the news yourself first. Maybe nobody here know what she meant to you but I am a telepath Steve. I know how you feel about her. I know how deeply you love her. Stay here as long as you need. We will keep searching for her. Focus on yourself for a moment. It is your pain too. So live it and get over it.”

“Don’t tell that…”

“To anyone. I know Cap. I won’t. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Please leave kudos and comments.


	7. Lost and Found

“We need to talk.” said Natasha. “All of us.”

“Isn’t it kind of more important to go and help Tony for searching (Y/n)?” Sam asked.

“No. I want Barnes and Captain stay here.”

“The fuck?” Buckh shouted.

“Natasha no. I understand where you are coming from but no.” I said as calm as I could.

“We can not control any of you if you will react as I know you will.”

“To what Romanova?” Bucky said anger poisining his voice.

“Bucky stand down. She has right. We don’t know if (Y/n) is okay. All we can do is hope for the best and prepare ourselves for the worst. And worst has higher numbers right now.”

“We will bring her home.” he said not daring to finish his sentence so Natasha finished it for him:

“Dead or alive.”

“If the worst will happen and any or both of us will react too bad, knock us down.” I said.

“Won’t it be easier if you two stayed?”

“No Natasha.”

***

There were 3 possible places (Y/n) and the rest of her team could be. The first one was a little island full of forest and caves, second was an ex-secret HYDRA facility and third was an old petrol platform. While we seperated in 3 groups to search these areas Tony was searching the depths of the ocean. It took 7 hours of search to find her bloodied beaten body. I was at ex facility, Bucky was at old platform and she was found at the wild island. Natasha, Clint and Vision had find her. Before they returned to collect us Tony flew her to hospital. She was in a surgery when we arrived. Her other teammates were found too on the same island. 

“It wasn’t just flow who brought them there. Someone carried them there, tortured them and left them.” Clint said. “I contacted Maria and she sent some SHIELD groups for investigation. They will handle it. We won’t be disturbed untill a very serious situation.” 

“We should help.” I said. But all I could think was (Y/n) battling for her life in that operation room few feets away. I had no idea how she was. I didn’t know if she was okay or not and it was killing me. I looked at Bucky who sat on the floor, eyes fixed to operation room’s door. His face carried no emotion. But his eyes… His eyes were full of sorrow and pain. He needed her to get out of there alive. He needed her to be allright. He needed her. 

But he was lucky. He had the chance to love her live her even if just for a short time. He had the chance to cherish her, to tell her how much he loved her. He had kissed her everyday whispering how deeply in love he was with her. And he had the opportunity to hear her saying she loved him too. Bucky was my closest friend but I could not help but feel like he also was my biggest enemy who stole my sunshine right from my arms. I could not hep but think how he just came into her life and took all the place she had kicking me out. 

“Fury said we can take some time out untill everything will be clearer.” Natasha said. I looked at her and saw that she was tired too. Not physically. Being physically tired was kind of unnoticable for us at this point. But the mental tiredness. Mental pain from losing the closest ones we hace right in front of our eyes and knowing that few missions later we will lose more. We always will lose more… It was one of the biggest problems with this job. You never stopped losing your loved ones. Sometimes many of them at one second. You could not get addicted to someone because just one minute and they could be dead right in front of your eyes. A tiny bullet or a small knife. Or maybe even a human with hard knuckles to beat your loved one to death. Like someone who did this to (Y/n). The only thing that was unstoppable in this job was losing.

“Should we contact her parents?” Wanda asked.

“I will call them.” said Tony. “We also should inform Thor.”

“How the hell are we supposed to contact Thor? He doesn’t have phone or email or any shit.” Sam said.

“I think we should look at the sky and shout for Heimdall to inform Thor.” Bruce suggested.

“Yeah. Lets just do that.” Clint said and started to walk towards the stairs leading to the roof. 

“I will help him.” Bruce said follimg the blond assasin.

“Tony you should go back to tower. We will call you if anything happens.” I said looking at the brown haired billioner. “You have been there longer than any of us. Go have some rest. Take Wanda, Vision and Sam with you.”

“We should stay.” Wanda said looking at the operation room.

“No. No need for all of us to stay here. At least some of us should be well rested incase anything happens.” Natasha said.

“We will send Clint and Bruce too. After they are done communicating with Heimdall or anyone who is listening.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! And I am truly sorry for writing this seldom. It was crazy you know. I had to pass a German exam to start my uni. Then I had a month long summer school at Germany. I had to attend to conferences. Uni starts 2 weeks later. Everything is happening at once!  
> Anyway...  
> Please leave kudos and suggestions for both this and new stories.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Please leave kudos, comments and request.  
> I am working on some requested ideas right now.


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